Translation Please

A big part of my day is trying to decipher my 2 year old's speech. I swear she is working with about half of the alphabet, at best. She gets so frustrated in repeating everything she says, that she says it louder and louder until she is screaming it. I think she thinks I am deaf. Sometimes I repeat back to her what I have heard and she will say "YA!" (Ya, you dummy, that's what I said!) We often have to get Sage to be our interpreter. So let's play a little game. How many of these can you figure out?





1. Huck Me!


2. ho -e hane handus


3. me hus me heef


4. me poopeen now!


5. haucat heok


6. no hypa, me hig now


7. husus honan eeteen hurdpoop


8. hinasore



9. heepitoo?


10. hiya heepeen hit me.


11. heer mommy, hoogy



Okay, can you figure any of these out? I would love to see your comments with some guesses. I'll post the translations in a day or two.

It's Mother's Day today and as my gift Ron took the girls out of the house so I could have some quiet time (Justus is napping). This is the absolute best gift I could receive. There is NO gift that could be better than some time to myself. Before I had kids I hated being alone and had to fill in those times with phone conversations or TV or something like that but now since having kids I just can't get enough time alone. (Honestly it is a rare thing.) I used to look at those people who went to movies or restaurants alone and think they were pathetic loners who couldn't even come up with one friend or family member to go with them. I now know that those people are parents and they are loving that time alone. So Happy Mother's Day to all you tireless moms. Here's wishing you some peace and quiet all by yourself!

Ditching TV Among Other Things

In the last week of December Ron and I made a decision to discontinue our satellite service. This is something that I have been wanting to do for some time and I had suggested it more than once. But like most North Amercians, we are a teeny bit addicted to TV so Ron nixed the idea. I let it go. Then in the beginning of December it became his idea. Then of course it turned into a great idea. I was fully supportive of "his" idea but really didn't think he would do it. First he started with the TVs. We had an embarrassing 6 flat screen TVs. One in nearly every room and even in the kids rooms (which we had always said we wouldn't do). He started selling them off on Craigslist. I love Craigslist. Soon enough we had just one left. The he cancelled the satellite service. I was stunned and more than a little impressed. First he kicks gluten without even a flinch, then dairy, then aspartame, then TV and now he is working on soda in general. Since he has no other "real" vices he is on a fast track to becoming perfect. So you might be asking yourself, why would we do this? No, we're not starving or having trouble paying the bills. This is really all just a part of a bigger picture. There is a lot to gain by ditching TV. First, the most obvious, is the cash you dish out every month for 7000 stations (and none of them are worth your time). Then there are the countless hours you can reclaim that can go to important things, like your family. We find we are spending more time as a family. We are playing games together, reading, making things, building things, going for walks, cooking, hanging out outside etc. Ron and I are talking more. Ron has started reading again. Him and I are both getting more sleep. Both of us had the habit of turning on the TV when we are tired to "just watch a couple of minutes." Hours later we are still staring blankly at the TV. Then we wake up tired the next day and our patience is short with the kids and sometimes with each other. Then we'd miserable and lazy and only want to, guess what's coming... watch TV. The TV was on in the background all the time whether or not anyone was watching. Since it has been off there is a beautiful calm in the house. I am enjoying the lack of the constant din. The girls are more often playing with each other. They are pretending, creating, learning and running. None of those things are done in front of the TV. We are spending more time outside and our attention is more fully on the present moment. How many times have I wished that the kids would just be quiet for a bit so I could hear or see something on the TV... TV is an escape, a drug, a diversion. I don't want to be diverted from my life. I want to live it. At the end of our lives, will we look back and think "wow, I remeber that one TV show...."? We want our kids to have great memories of the time we spent together. Memories aren't made waching TV. Life is so short and I want to be present for all of it. I don't want to waste my precious time being told how I should look or what I should want (also why I don't buy magazines anymore). I really don't care what the Hollywood stars are doing, saying or wearing. I love the fact that my kids have no idea what a BRATZ doll is or who Hannah Montana is or what High School Musical is. I love that they adored the castle that Ron made for them at Christmas and that it wasn't MADE IN CHINA or made from plastic. As I get older I find myself deploring the consumerism that defines American life. Everything is disposable, everything is about appearances and having the right car, handbag, hairstyle, jewelry, cell phone, clothing, body shape and bra size. I think that we have all lost sight of what really matters. Have have have get get get buy buy buy does not make us happier. Maybe it feels good for a minute but why? Because we have one upped the Jones', or because we are one step closer to looking just so? In the last few months we have tried to reverse our years of that mindset of having and getting. We are constantly selling stuff we don't use or need. Our entire focus is probably the exact opposite of most people here in Scottsdale. And you know what? It feels good. Really really good. We aren't just selling stuff but we are giving stuff away too. I have discovered freecycle. This is an online group (probably one near you) that is all about the giving and receiving of free stuff in an effort to keep things out of the landfills a while longer. Right before Christmas we went through the kids toys and gave away everything that they didn't use regularly. The whole lot of it went to a foster mom of 3 girls for their Christmas gifts. Even Sage felt good about that. So, to those of our friends and family who know about us ditching our TVs and selling all of our stuff: No, we are not starving or even having financial difficulties we are just trying to make the most of our lives.

Okay, I will step down from my soap box now.

Cooties and Houdini

It seems like forever since I have posted. We've been sick. All of us. Each more than once. It has been going on for nearly a month now. I am starting to wonder if it will ever end. When every one else gets sick I usually don't but this time I got it too and bad. I even went to the doctor and agreed to antibiotics which I haven't had since before Sage was born. I am a firm believer that a huge part of your immune system comes from your GI tract and if you take antibiotics and kill all those good bacteria then you are leaving yourself more vulnerable to getting the next thing that comes around. But this time I was desperate. I had a sinus infection that was so painful that my teeth hurt so bad that I couldn't eat. The silver lining of course is that I ended up loosing 6 pounds. It made me wonder if anyone ever tried to come up with a way to eliminate your sense of smell as a weight loss gimmick. I cooked yesterday for the first time in over a week. I made my 10 veggie spaghetti sauce. I also have more than a weeks worth of laundry and house cleaning to catch up on. Justus is sick now. He has a fever but no other symptoms. Last night I had to give him Tylenol every 4-5 hours. His temperature got as high as 103.3. I can't imagine how miserable he must have felt. I was soooo miserable at 101.7. You know, it really sucks living here so far from family when we are sick. Ron was as sick as I was and also took a trip to the doctor and got some antibiotics so he wasn't any help to me. I really felt like if I could have just had lots of good uninterrupted sleep this wouldn't have gone on so long. But we have no family here to help out. All our friends also have kids so understandably they need to stay far far away from us. Okay I will stop complaining now.

Houdini the Mouse has set up residence in our CAR. We were at home a couple days ago and Ron needed to get something out of the glove box. He opened it, screamed like a girl and jumped back exclaiming "Holy Crap! There are 2 mice in the glove box!" Sure enough, there was a mound of foam shreds, from somewhere in the car, all piled up in there like a comfy little nest. So glad that discovery wasn't made while we were on the interstate. Not only that but there was mouse crap everywhere! Dandy. How can mice crap that much? We saw one run out of the car later that day and since then we have traps set up in there. But that mouse is friggin Houdini. It keeps getting the treats out of the traps and tripping the trap all without getting caught in the trap. I am scared to use mouse poison for fear of it dying in there and then the car stinking of dead mouse. And Mom, I bet you are rethinking about not renting a car when you come visit!

Out of time again.

Intolerance

I have been laying here trying to sleep. I can't. I can't stop thinking about something that happened today. Maybe if I write it, it will go away.

Today we decided to go see a movie or I should say movies. Ron took the girls to "Madagascar" and I went to see "Changeling" with Justus. We always go to the same theatre because it is always like a ghost town. I honestly don't know how it stays in business. We like that because we always have the kids with us and many times we are the only ones in the theatre or almost. Today was different. We didn't realize it was a holiday so there was a huge line up with tons of kids to go see "Madagascar". The theatre I was in had maybe 10-12 other people in it. Now I consider myself a polite and considerate person. In the past 4 years since having kids I have left numerous movies because of fidgeting kids or kids that won't stay quiet. Not only do I leave but I do it pretty quickly. I remember the days before having kids and remember how annoying it was to hear a kid crying in the back. So today I half expected that I may not get to see the whole movie. But Justus was so good. We sat in the last row on the side, right by the door for a quick exit if need be. I nursed him for the first bit of the movie and he kind of napped. Then he woke up and was just quiet in my lap. Every now and then he would let out a quiet coo but that was about it. I had just been sitting there thinking how much I was enjoying myself (since I never do this) and how well Justus was doing. He really is a great baby. Moments later some old crotchety jackass with bionic hearing got his diaper in a wad when he must have heard Justus fart or something. He gets out of his seat maybe 3 or 4 rows up and comes over to me.

Jackass With Bionic Hearing: "Would you mind if we enjoyed our movie?" (Dripping in sarcasm)

Me: "No, not at all." I wasn't trying to be flippant at this point. I was just stunned.

Jackass With Bionic Hearing just stands there all indignant staring daggers at me.

Me: "Are you joking?"

Jackass With Bionic Hearing: "No. I am not." And he walks back to his seat while continuing to glance back at me and glare.

I could not believe it. I sat there stunned for a bit. Seriously, a baby's very quiet, happy coo was interfering with his enjoyment??? This is so North Scottsdale. I shouldn't have been surprised I guess. I slowly packed up and left. I left because I felt like I had no choice. Had I not left I have no doubt that he would have created a scene. At that point I didn't care about his enjoyment or lack of but I was concerned about bothering someone else and honestly after that I wouldn't have been able to enjoy the movie anyway.

What is the matter with some people? How miserable must his life be that he can't enjoy a great movie because of a baby's occasional quiet coo. And honestly I do mean quiet. If I had thought for a second that he was bothering anyone I would have left immediately. Why have people become so intolerant? There just seems to be so much hatred, anger, self righteousness and general irritation here. I suspect it is because of all the money here. Have I mentioned lately how much I don't want to raise my kids here?

Thoughts? Comments????

And no, I don't think I do feel better.

And Now... A Mouse

The desert has really been creeping in this summer. Last Sunday night when Ron was at work (this stuff always happens when he isn't here), I got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. Out of the corner of my eye I thought I saw something run under my bed. I tried to convince myself that it was all in my head. I couldn't bring myself to look under the bed. Instead I just worked on my denial and tried to go back to sleep and not think about it. The following morning, in the daylight, I got my courage up and took a quick peak under my bed well actually I made Sage look first. Nope nothing there. All is well. It must have been my mind playing tricks on me. (Whatever it was it certainly would have still been there, right? More denial) Later that night it was all a distant memory when Ron walks into the kitchen and turns on the light and then states quite matter-a-factly, "oh, we have a mouse." Damn it, my denial will never work so well for me again. So there we are chasing this mouse all over the living room turning over the furniture. Amazingly after about 10 minutes Ron actually caught the tiny mouse. It was sooo small. Being the animal lovers we are (as in non snake, salamander or toxic toad type animals,all of which can be unceremoniously killed as far as I am concerned) we put it in a bucket to show the girls in the morning and then release. Because the little thing looked so terrified Ron even fed it. Here is a video, just for you mom! (My mom is petrified of mice.)

Then yesterday morning I noticed some large coffee grounds on the kitchen counter. More denial. As my sister so cruelly pointed out coffee grounds are not that big. Maybe course ground coffee.... More denial. So now we have mouse traps set up in the house. No kill of course.

And in case that wasn't enough wildlife in the house we had several birds again. Ron had removed the patio doors to refinish them and 3 of those desert birds came in again. Cactus Wrens I think. There were bird turds all over the house. How can they crap that much in such a short period of time? Maybe that is where the expression "had the shit scared out of you" came from.

What's next toxic toads, squirrel, rabbit, chipmunk? Maybe I need to rethink getting a cat. Maybe dealing with all the cat hair would be worth it.

I'm Done

Okay, that is it! I am sooooo done with desert living. I am sitting here on my bed reading e-mail when something catches my eye on the floor beside my foot. Something frickin moved! And fast. Oh crap, I thought, it's a scorpion. I cautiously lean over, after hastily moving my foot, to get a better look. I can't believe what I am seeing. This is a first. It's a tiny salamander. How he got into my bedroom, I can't imagine. So now I am frantically looking for something to get it with. Right now I am wishing that my room was a little less tidy. There isn't anything laying around but a small piece of paper. At this point I don't even know if I should kill it or try to catch and release it. Maybe that is a moot point though, the thing just ran under my bed and I can't see it. Oh, this is just f&^*$%g GREAT! I am having visions of this thing joining me in bed at night. Why does this always happen when Ron isn't here?! My heart is racing and I am feeling near panicky thinking that if I don't find it and get it now I may not see it again until it makes babies in my underwear drawer. I grab a hanger and start flicking it under the bed to scare the little thing out. It works. Damn it is fast but due to my horrible adrenalin surge I am faster. I smash my tiny piece of paper down on him (so much for catch and release). I press ALL my body weight into the paper and hold it there for, I don't know, maybe an hour. I just know that if I lift my hand and that thing runs, I will scream and wake up all the kids and probably my neighbors. Cautiously, I lift the paper thinking that the blood I see on the carpet is a good sign. There he is or rather was. Nothing left but a twitching tail and a blood smear on my carpet. Did I mention that I am ready to leave the desert?????

Chickens

Okay, Lisa had asked me to post some pics of our chickens and our eggs. So here they are. The girls are routinely fighting over who gets to look in what nests and who gets to carry in the eggs. Sage won this round.
Today Sage asked me to make her an egg with "runny yolks" and toast. She never eats the yolks. But today she did.

Pumpkins

We grew 4 small pumpkins this year. This morning I quartered and cleaned one. I drizzled it with olive oil and salt and pepper. I roasted it for 30 minutes at 400. Then sprinkled brown sugar on it and put it back in the oven for another 10 minutes. It is really pretty good. I was thinking about making a pie with some too. But that is going to require some time. Until then does anyone have any other ideas for pumpkin?

Life in the Desert

It has already been an eventful day today. The kids got up at their usual early hour of 6 am. Sad now that I think sleeping in is 7 am. Since the weather is best here in the morning we went out as soon as we were out of bed. It was really nice because this time Ron was with us. Usually it is just me and the kids waiting outside for Ron to come home from work, or he is working outside. This morning was really nice because we had no plans or things to do so we were just sitting outside enjoying the morning. The sun was shining, the birds were singing and the tarantulas were out. Yes, that's right. We had a large tarantula on our driveway this morning. These don't freak me out as much as the snakes do, not even close so I was able to get up close to get a good picture.

Isn't he cute? And the fun didn't stop there. Lefty was also enjoying the morning. He was hanging out with us just off the driveway where we were all sitting.

Nope the excitement didn't end there. Sage caught her first lizard. He was a tiny one again and both the girls amazed me by holding it. Not me.

Ron commented that tomorrow we are likely to see a javalina, bobcat or god forbid a rattlesnake. Maybe I won't leave the house anymore...

Oh ya, and how could I forget the huge scorpion that Ron killed in the kitchen last night. I should have taken a picture of that too.

Crisis Averted

Well, I nearly had to move out of the house this morning with nothing but the clothes on my back and possibly even leaving everyone behind. It went something like this. The previously discussed captured snake spent the night in a plastic jar, in the garage, on the saw table immediately beside the door to the house. I saw it there when I went out to check the chickens this morning. The lid, without holes was firmly attached, I checked, from a distance. A couple hours later we had been coming and going and the door that leads to the house was kept open. As I went inside for the last time I noticed that the jar was empty. Assuming that he let it go I called out to Ron, "did you get a picture of the snake?" He answered "no, not yet."

Me: "What do you mean not yet?"


Ron: "Well, I will as soon as I am done here!" Him irritated with me thinking that I was asking him to do it now.


Me: "Well, WHERE IS IT?" The shear panic is rising in my chest. I am looking at the empty container with the lid slightly ajar, the open garage door and remembering how difficult it had been to catch it in the first place.


Ron: "What do you mean 'where is it?'" Now he is running toward me as I stand there in horror.


Both of us turn to Sage and shout "what did you do with the snake?" Poor kid had no idea what we were talking about. "Nothing" she replies in complete innocence.


Me: "Oh CRAP, oh crap, oh crap!"

I had to censor what I really wanted to say since the girls were right there. I quickly brought the kids with me in the house and closed the door hoping and praying that it wasn't already in the house. I assumed that Ron was staying in the garage to try to find it. Turned out I was wrong to make such a stupid assumption. I quickly got ready for my appointment thinking of the gravity of the situation. What if it is in the house? It was small, about 10 inches and the diameter of about a pencil. It could go anywhere and not be seen for a long, long time and during this time it would be GROWING. What happens if it is in the house and it comes out when Ron isn't home. What do I do then? Could I barricade myself in a room until Ron came home by stuffing towels under the door? Probably not, it was small so it could squeeze in if it was going to try and get me. There was only one real option: I was going to have to move out until Ron could find the thing. I tip toe back towards the garage, visually scouring the floor as I went, to tell Ron of my plan to move out in the case that he hasn't found it yet. Again to my astonishment I carefully open the door and see Ron continuing about his business of doing whatever he was doing when I asked him where the snake was. Me: "Did you find it already?" Ron: "I'm not looking for it. There is no way I will find it now." That's it then, I will have to move out! As I am about to tell him about his new job as a single parent I look down and right there in the middle of the garage, there it is. It's just laying there. Now I am probably screeching, "it's right there, it's right there!" I am already running back inside the house now to get away from it. Ron is shouting at me to get the camera and I am shouting back "JUST GET THE SNAKE!!!" He did and I did. Here is the picture of the evil little thing. It is kind of blurry because my hands were shaking so much and because it was trying to escape. Anyway, crisis averted.

Lizard Rodeo

Some days I would be happy to leave the desert and not return. Today is one of those days. Ron took Sage out this morning and I was home with Rori and Justus. I was in the kitchen when something caught my eye. A lizard. There was a freakin lizard in my kitchen! Eeewww. And Ron wasn't here to rescue me. Just like he wasn't here to rescue me both times with the blasted ants. I grabbed the girls "bug catcher" nets and started the rodeo. To my amazement I caught it without too much effort. It was tiny, just a baby. I was still freaking out though. Then the little guy JUMPED out of the net and ran under the stove. Rori and I were both screeching. Rori kept saying "me scared, me scared." Me too. I called Sage and told her I had a job for her when she came home. She happily accepted the challenge. When they got home the little guy was still under the stove so we had to just wait him out. Of course he decided to come out when it was only me in the kitchen again. I managed to catch him again and RUN outside with him in the net. Here is a picture of the tiny little guy.

As I sit here and write this Sage is outside busy trying to catch crickets to feed to the sand snake that Ron just caught outside. I am so unjustifiably terrified of all snakes I can't bring myself to go to even look at it. If they decide to keep it, OUTSIDE, I will try to get my courage up to go take a pic of it to post. I am going to have nightmares. I want to move home.....

Camping - Against All Odds

When I think back on my childhood some of the very best memories for me were of camping. We haven't gone in about 7 years. That last time ended badly. We drove for hours and as we were pulling into our campsite, in northern New Mexico, it started to rain. No actually it started to pour. We hoped it would clear so we went ahead and set up the tent and camp site and waited for the rain to stop. It didn't. A couple hours later we packed it all up, soaking wet and drove all the way home. It kinda left a bad taste in our mouths. Lately I had been thinking that I wanted to try it again. I had several concerns about it even being possible. With a 3 1/2 year old, a 21 month old (who is newly potty trained) and a newborn, a tent, a Prius, and several food restrictions it seemed more than a little daunting so I didn't mention it to Ron. Then one morning he comes home from work and announces that he wants to go camping. Sage knew what camping was and was really excited. I was excited too and more than a little apprehensive. What the heck would we eat? No gluten means no hot dog buns. Hot dogs without the bun? Yuck. Camping without hot dogs? It's just not right. But since we told Sage about our idea to go we were kind of committed.

So Monday afternoon Ron started to get the car packed up and I started to bake. I made my awesome whole grain bread, brownies and rice krispy squares. All were gluten and dairy free. The rice krispy squares I made with coconut oil instead of butter and they were so unbelievably good that I could have eaten them all myself. Ron and I agreed that they were better than the original version. When Ron was done packing it would have been difficult to squeeze an extra toothpick in. Then a new concern hit me. Will this tiny car make it up the 5000 + ft elevation climb? We left Tuesday morning. Sage was so excited she chattered nonstop for the entire 2 1/2 hour drive. It was so sweet. That is one of the best things about having kids; you can see the world through their eyes. Anyway, the car made it there without a problem and it still managed to get 46 miles per gallon. Man do we love that car. We got a good campsite on the Mogollin Rim which is about 30 minutes east of Payson and set up the tent. Here is a pic of us setting up and proving that we really did this trip in a Prius.






At first Rori was a bit of a princess. She kept saying "dirt, dirt." But within the hour both girls were exploring the campsite and having a blast. The weather was so perfect. Daytime highs were in the mid to low 80's. Here in Scottsdale it was 113, I was told. It is amazing to me that in just a 2.5 hour drive we were in beautiful weather, green trees and clear air. The air smelled so good. I had forgotten what clean air smelled like. The first day we just hung around the campsite and took

walks and relaxed. I can't even put into words how happy I felt to see my girls playing outside. Sadly this is something they can't do at home. Between the heat, rattlesnakes, scorpions, javalina, bobcats, coyotes and cactus, playing outside isn't an option. Dinner was hot dogs, of course, on my bread with various other junk as expected on a camping trip. It was so good. I didn't feel cheated at all. Justus is such a good baby. He slept the entire trip there and then seemed so happy to be outside too. He kept starring up at the trees and smiling and laughing. He was perfectly content.

As expected, getting all 3 kids to sleep in one tent was not easy. But eventually they finally dropped. In Rori's case she literally dropped. She fell asleep while crawling around on the floor. But the very best thing about the night was that Justus slept right through for the first time. I didn't sleep well as I kept waiting for him to wake up and I was acutely aware of the fact the Ron was having a terrible sleep. In the morning I saw just how bad his night was. The air mattress he was on had a hole and by morning it had completely deflated and he was sleeping on the rocks. He woke up less than cheery. The rest of us though were happy as can be. We had breakfast and went to Payson

to get Ron a new air mattress. On the way back we stopped at Christopher Creek for the day. We had so much fun. Ron was teaching the girls how to fish for crawdads. The creek is small, clean, warm and shallow. It was beautiful there and I could have stayed all day. We had lunch on the bank and played in the water for a couple hours. We all got some "color", aka sunburned, even Justus.

That night went a little smoother in respect to getting the girls to sleep. They were just so exhausted. Justus only woke once during the night and Ron and I slept better too. So all in all we had a great trip. I didn't want to come home. I think that if we had a 5th wheel the kids and I would be perfectly happy to stay up there for a couple weeks at a time. Not only was the weather perfect and the kids were so happy and content to be playing outside, Ron and I were able to relax a bit and just sit and talk. Amazing what can happen when there is no TV. We also found that the people were so friendly there. People smiled at each other and said "hi". Here is North Scottsdale people don't even look at each other never mind smile or god forbid actually talk to one another. Sage surprised me with how friendly she was with complete strangers. She was so cute when she started chatting with our neighbors, an elderly couple. She said, "Hi, I'm Sage and this is my little sister Rori and I have a little brother Justus." Justus and Ron were back at the campsite while the girls and I went for a walk. The woman asked Sage if her brother was a little brother or a big brother. Sage replied, "He is my little brother. He is a baby and he came out of mommy's..." This is where I jumped in to stop her from giving them a lesson in the birds and the bees.

The first evening we were there an elk was wondering through the campsite. He was beautiful. He had huge antlers and we all had a great view. Rori kept repeating "elk, elk." Sage just wanted to get closer. I wish I had gotten a picture of him.

When I was a kid I used to see my mom and dad and all the other adults just sitting around the campfire just doing nothing. I used to think "how boring". Now as an adult myself I can appreciate those perfect moments of complete content in feeling the warm sun on my skin or the warmth of the fire. Watching the kids be kids and listening to the birds or the sound of the fire. These simple moments make me appreciate the wonder that is my life.